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magic notes of "Love, Stargirl":
" The winter weeds were scraggly and matted down, like my hair in the morning."
"Funny things - I was so busy crying for everything else, I never crying for myself. Now I cry for me. For you. For us. And now I'm smiling through my tears. Remember he first time I saw you?..."
"I wash my mind all over the place. Since the idea - and ideal - it so erase myself from wherever and whenever I am, I think I should not allow myself to become too attached to any one location, ..., as I call it now, or to any particular time of day or night."
"Erasing myself. ... Which, when you think about it, is really not nothing I mean, when I'm really doing it right, getting myself totally erased, I'm opposite of nothing - I'm everything. I'm everything but myself. I've evaporated like water vapour into the universe. I am no longer Stargirl. I am tree. Wind. Earth."
"... the lady in the house who won't go out and the man ate the cemetery who won't go in."
"It snowed yesterday. Today the world is white. ... It was as pure and perfect as a news sheet of paper. ..."
"... Let's promise to each other that if we ever meet again we will never plough and push our new fallen snow. We will not become slush. We will stay like this field and melt away together only in the sun's good time."
"Every day brings a new memory of something we did a year ago. ..."
"There was no answer. Or maybe I just couldn't hear it."
"... What don't you understand about the message? Hel-loooo? Anybody home in there? You have your whole life ahead of you and all you're doing is looking back. Grow up girl. There are some things they don't teach you in homeschool."
"Sure, she makes sense. But my heart doesn't care about sense. My heart never says: Why? Only: Who?"
"... Who are you if you lose your favourite person? Can you lose your favourite person without losing yourself? I reach for Stargirl and she's gone. I'm not me anymore."
"You occupied my space. But because you were not in my present when I looked into my future I saw... nothing. Isn't that sad? and stupid?..."
"I'll missing you as much as ever. I'll still smile ate the memory of you. I'll still be - OK, I'll say it again - Loving you, but I won't abandon myself for you. I can not be faithful to you without being faithful to myself. I've reclaimed my future. If we are destined to be together again, be happy to know you'll be getting the real m, not some blubbering half me."
"... sitting side by side..."
" "No," I told her "you don't have to. If you start by hating one or two people, you won't to be able to stop. Pretty soon you'll hate a hundred people."
"A zillion?"
"Even a zillion. a little hatred goes a long, long way. It grows and grows. And it's hungry."
...
" Even hungrier. You keep feeding it more and more people, and the more it gets, the more it wants. It's never satisfied. And pretty soon it squeezes all the love out of your heart"
..."
"Dancing with herself, then all the guys. and the bunny hop. ... Until the bunny hop, I was doing fine. I was enjoying myself ..., putting you and your rejection of my aside. But out there in the dark, the farther we got from the music and the light, the more I thought of you, and it occurred to me that maybe I could work a little enchantment of my own. As we moved deeper and deeper into the dark I wished - I willed - that something magical would happen, that the hands I felt on my waist, if I danced through the darkness just right and just long enough. wolud become your hands.
But of course they didn't. When we came back to the light and I looked, it was ..."
"... I bilieve myself."
"No answer. No expression. ..."
"... You said you think of me every day. You said you sometimes go out to the enchanted place in the desert and take off your shoes and sit there like we did that first time. ..."
"Tell me you whispered my name"
"... I think he must hate the absolute certainty: knowing that every time he awakes from a doze, she'll be there. Every time he arrives in the morning with the aluminium chair, she'll be there. She'll never again be in the basement looking for the canned peaches. Never again ... She'll never be anywhere but there."
"Every day he visits her, talks with her, sleeps with her."
"... It was still too dark to tell where earth stopped and sky began. ..."
" The winter weeds were scraggly and matted down, like my hair in the morning."
"Funny things - I was so busy crying for everything else, I never crying for myself. Now I cry for me. For you. For us. And now I'm smiling through my tears. Remember he first time I saw you?..."
"I wash my mind all over the place. Since the idea - and ideal - it so erase myself from wherever and whenever I am, I think I should not allow myself to become too attached to any one location, ..., as I call it now, or to any particular time of day or night."
"Erasing myself. ... Which, when you think about it, is really not nothing I mean, when I'm really doing it right, getting myself totally erased, I'm opposite of nothing - I'm everything. I'm everything but myself. I've evaporated like water vapour into the universe. I am no longer Stargirl. I am tree. Wind. Earth."
"... the lady in the house who won't go out and the man ate the cemetery who won't go in."
"It snowed yesterday. Today the world is white. ... It was as pure and perfect as a news sheet of paper. ..."
"... Let's promise to each other that if we ever meet again we will never plough and push our new fallen snow. We will not become slush. We will stay like this field and melt away together only in the sun's good time."
"Every day brings a new memory of something we did a year ago. ..."
"There was no answer. Or maybe I just couldn't hear it."
"... What don't you understand about the message? Hel-loooo? Anybody home in there? You have your whole life ahead of you and all you're doing is looking back. Grow up girl. There are some things they don't teach you in homeschool."
"Sure, she makes sense. But my heart doesn't care about sense. My heart never says: Why? Only: Who?"
"... Who are you if you lose your favourite person? Can you lose your favourite person without losing yourself? I reach for Stargirl and she's gone. I'm not me anymore."
"You occupied my space. But because you were not in my present when I looked into my future I saw... nothing. Isn't that sad? and stupid?..."
"I'll missing you as much as ever. I'll still smile ate the memory of you. I'll still be - OK, I'll say it again - Loving you, but I won't abandon myself for you. I can not be faithful to you without being faithful to myself. I've reclaimed my future. If we are destined to be together again, be happy to know you'll be getting the real m, not some blubbering half me."
"... sitting side by side..."
" "No," I told her "you don't have to. If you start by hating one or two people, you won't to be able to stop. Pretty soon you'll hate a hundred people."
"A zillion?"
"Even a zillion. a little hatred goes a long, long way. It grows and grows. And it's hungry."
...
" Even hungrier. You keep feeding it more and more people, and the more it gets, the more it wants. It's never satisfied. And pretty soon it squeezes all the love out of your heart"
..."
"Dancing with herself, then all the guys. and the bunny hop. ... Until the bunny hop, I was doing fine. I was enjoying myself ..., putting you and your rejection of my aside. But out there in the dark, the farther we got from the music and the light, the more I thought of you, and it occurred to me that maybe I could work a little enchantment of my own. As we moved deeper and deeper into the dark I wished - I willed - that something magical would happen, that the hands I felt on my waist, if I danced through the darkness just right and just long enough. wolud become your hands.
But of course they didn't. When we came back to the light and I looked, it was ..."
"... I bilieve myself."
"No answer. No expression. ..."
"... You said you think of me every day. You said you sometimes go out to the enchanted place in the desert and take off your shoes and sit there like we did that first time. ..."
"Tell me you whispered my name"
"... I think he must hate the absolute certainty: knowing that every time he awakes from a doze, she'll be there. Every time he arrives in the morning with the aluminium chair, she'll be there. She'll never again be in the basement looking for the canned peaches. Never again ... She'll never be anywhere but there."
"Every day he visits her, talks with her, sleeps with her."
"... It was still too dark to tell where earth stopped and sky began. ..."
07/11/2009
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